January 2012
2 posts
“If James Caan, you can too.”
– Alex and Mackenzie, on accepting an illegitimate child into the family.
December 2011
6 posts
Andy gets LOTR Risk
Jason: Where is this kid? I want to play Risk!
Marcos: Seriously, we could be half way to Mordor right now.
Chase: ....You guys, what if I put this ring on and disappear?
2 tags
a true friend that I will miss dearly
Me: That's awesome. Even though I secretly think you are just moving to get out of seeing The Human Centipede 3 with us.
Joe: Brittney. I will return JUST for that.
5 tags
November 2011
2 posts
October 2011
7 posts
“Hi, I’m Kendra. Come to my party and stand and work.”
– Alex, on carving pumpkins.
4 tags
Me: How badly do you think I need this skirt?
Adam: TREAT YO SELF.
2 tags
“You know you’re gay when the two men in the car are singing Abba and...”
– Marcos, on himself and Chase. For the record, I was having it. I loved it.
5 tags
“A pretty decent live action sequel for Dexter’s Laboratory. It’s a...”
– A Netflix member’s review for The Human Centipede
September 2011
5 posts
3 tags
hanging out with my middle-aged co-workers
Linda: When I was young my friends and I had fake bachelorette parties all the time. It was great. Everyone would buy us drinks and we all got laid.
Me: TMI, LINDA.
Linda: Nope. We're not a work right now. I'll say what I want to you.
“Your vagina has got to be inches from the bottom of your dress.”
– Creating rules of human decency with Andy Pfannenstiel
“There are like two things I’m serious about in this world and killer...”
– Kyle
August 2011
6 posts
“Yeah, I would have sex with Ted Danson from like 1975 to 15 years after he dies....”
– Andy
“Ugh. This sweater looks like a child pooped on it.”
– My boss, appreciating our new line.
“I don’t believe in god, but I believe in Nic Cage.”
– Andy Pfannenstiel
July 2011
3 posts
2 tags
June 2011
4 posts
2 tags
2 tags
Pottermore →
Like this guy, I really don’t understand what Pottermore is, but as long as I’m not sorted into Hufflepuff, I’m pretty much on board.
1 tag
May 2011
2 posts
1 tag
April 2011
5 posts
“I pretty much tell everyone new I meet that there’s probably no way...”
– Andy, on Russ, Marcos, Mackenzie and me.
March 2011
7 posts
WatchMy mom took Andrae to the vet to get a shot yesterday. He was gone for maybe an hour and poor Maisy thought her life was over. She cried like this the whole time.
Joey: Do you want to go see Paul tomorrow?
Adam: Who the fuck is Paul?
appreciating customers
Boss 1: Ugh. That guy with the pants.
Me: What happened?
Boss 2: HE WAS A SHIT.
February 2011
7 posts
